clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize