I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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