I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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