no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
