I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
