It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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