break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
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I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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