I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
