What did we do last night that was yellow?
one might say we're banned from that church
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
