my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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