oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
