I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
