I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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