OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
