Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize