worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
