I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
