Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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