i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
