i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
birth control should be required to get into college
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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