He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize
