i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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