At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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