Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize