Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
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that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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