Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
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I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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