Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
