U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Randomize
