Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I didn't notice because vodka
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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