matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
The beer is more important than you right now.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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