so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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