Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Alive.
So much puke
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
