New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
