This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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