that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
