We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
the day after is always just damage control
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Someone came in the potted fern
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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