on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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