your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
