she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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