do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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