If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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