If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
