You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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