You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
