WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
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that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
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He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I wear drunk well.
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