Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Just invented taco cereal.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
