I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
