my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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