butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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