Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize