Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
