whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
