oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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