i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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