so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
