Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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